Friday, May 22, 2009

Robin Palmer: Cindy Ella

One Word Summary: My therapist says...
More Words: I'm not proud of having read this book in the least. I didn't like it at all, except that it made laugh a little and sometimes the dialogue was fluid. The main character was extremely self absorbed, she kind of reminded me of Candice Cameron's best friend in Full House. You know annoying. I think Palmer was going for quirky and intelligent, like a Meg Ryan typecast. But she did do a good job with her Romantic Interest. He's handsome and kind and athletic and popular and a touch shy and vague enough to satisfy anyone's dreamboy.
Plot Summary: A few weeks before Prom Cindy Ella writes a letter to the editor of her school newspaper stating emphatically that prom is a waste of time blah blah blah. She's already uncool, but now she's even more uncool. Anyhow... the letter is somehow the catalyst for her romance with out-of-her-league Adam. Actually it's probably just the excuse for writing a book.

MORE BOOKS IM NOT PROUD OF
Barry Jonsberg: Am I right or Am I right.
One Word Summary: Too Much Unnecessary Detail
More Words: It was funny enough, but only because the jokes had nothing to do with the story. Again, the narrator was annoying... so annoying that even my curiosity couldn't compel me to finish skimming this novel. And the notes to Fridge reminded me of Feeling Sorry for Celia by Jaclyn Moriarty, which I did like. I kept thinking, it must be an Australian thing. To end on a positive note I did like the instructions on how to write a poem in less than two minutes.
Plot Summary: I didn't read enough to actually know what happened, but I think Fridge (AKA: Mom) gets involved with an abusive man who is also the father of the BestFriend. Don't worry the Abusive man gets told off. Meanwhile, absentee Dad shows up to talk and there's a
Cute boy. Maybe they go on a date. Cute boy and Narrating Voice, I mean.
Instructions on how to write a poem:

Let's get rid of some misconceptions. Misconception number one: poetry has to rhyme. Wrong. Rhyming poetry is actually very old-fashioned (as well as a pain in the arse to write) and we are modern, up-to-date wordsmiths here. Misconception number two: rhythm is important. Wrong, wrong. Modern poetry relies upon the rhythm of the street, the natual cadences of the spoken language (memorize that and repeat it to any teacher who challnges you). Misconception number three: poetry has to make sense. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Let's be honest. How many proper poems have you read where you've known what the hell was going on? Few, if any, I'll bet. And the same appies to your teacher. He or she will read your poem and nod wisely. They can't admit they don't understand it. They're English teachers, after all. In the unlikely even they ask you to explain, recite the following: "It was my attempt to rationalize the dichotomy between personal emotions and the presures of modern-day living." That'll shut them up.

Okay. We don't need rhyme, rhythm, or meaning. The key is that it should look like a poem.

[and then it goes on for about another page or so]



Marianne Curley: Old Magic.
One Word Summary: Nothing at all
More Words: The idea was good, only the writing needed a lot more polishing. It was so rough draft-ish I thought I was reading the outline notes. I tried skipping to the end, only it confused me a little so I had to read the middle too.
Plot Summary: New boy is school has very strong magical powers, only he doesn't know it. Freaky Girl, Kate, senses his magic and figures out that he's cursed too. She helps him, they travel through time, they fall in love.

Richelle Mead: Frostbite.
One Word Summary: Love Conquers All
More Words: Are you ever curious about all those vampire love stories out there? This is one of them. It's number two in the Vampire Academy series. There's a prologue that gets you up to speed on the storyline if you've skipped the first book. I didn't read much beyond that. Think I might find book three and read it's prologue. And then if I'm really addicted book four.
Plot Summary: Unlicenced half-trained teenaged vampire bodyguard saves the world, yet again. And maybe kisses her badboy heart-throb (who is also her teacher, ewwww).

okay... I should admit that I feel terrible for having nothing but unkind things to say about what I've read. I watched Ratatouille the other day, and I know it's easier to be a critic than a creator. So to all you would be writers: you've done what most people in the world wish they could do. Go You.

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